- There's a reason most hunters are bay - no frantic scrubbing with water and bluing, last ditch shaving of stained socks or wrapping lower legs in cornstarched polos.
- No matter how convenient debit cards are, concessions stands at out-of-season fairgrounds only take cash.
- On a related note, know where the closest ATM is.
- Don't even THINK about wearing white around horses when you're part of the help - even squeaky clean show hunters will slime you if they can get away with it.
- Chuck Taylors are never appropriate horsey footwear.
- Aspiring hunter riders repeat after me: LEARN. HOW. TO. BRAID. You will save money for things like rent.
- Burgers, fries and hot dogs are not diet violations at a horse show - they do not count.
- Additionally, it is a-okay to eat the aforementioned at any point in the day, even if it's 9:00 in the morning.
- As an aside, when you're awake and running before Starbucks employees, you are one dedicated individual.
- Just because YOU know that tractor is not a monster doesn't mean your horse does.
- Jack Russel Terriers don't know they're small and they believe they are invincible.
- And finally, don't say "Do you guys need help with anything?" if you don't really mean it - your trainer's face will light up like a Christmas tree and you will find yourself grooming Phoenix (and holding him at arm's length outside the ring as he tries to use you as a scratching post), holding Patches to be hosed off and running a chair around the entry gate so that everyone in the class can get on their enormous hunter jumpers. FORTUNATELY, I meant it.
Horse shows can teach you all kinds of things.
